


More Than Words, Part Eight

by Candy_A



Series: More Than Words [8]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 09:34:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3973048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Candy_A/pseuds/Candy_A
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reason for Steve's secrecy is revealed; the guys complete an important pre-marriage step.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than Words, Part Eight

**Author's Note:**

> This is the eighth installment of a nine-part series. The entire story has been completed, so you can read with confidence that this is not an unfinished work! Additional chapters will be posted in the near future.
> 
> This story is only authorized for posting on AO3 and via links from LJ. It may also be posted to the author's personal website. Permission is not granted for archiving to any additional sites.

Steve leaned against the hood of the Mercury, looking back and forth down the desolate stretch of dark road. At a few minutes past ten, a plain blue sedan pulled up behind him and his contact got out. Ben Danvers was a hulk of a man, taller and broader than Steve, still sporting the shaved hair of his military days. He'd been a Navy SEAL, and now made his living as a mercenary. Most of the jobs he did were arranged in the shadows of seedy bars or on dark country roads away from prying eyes.   
  
"You know, I never would have expected a call from you, McGarrett. You never had much respect for my...retirement career."  
  
"Yeah, well, some things have happened. Let's just say I can more clearly see the need for your type of services." Steve handed him the envelope. "You can count it if you want, but it's all there."  
  
"I trust you. You're nothing if you're not honest," he said, snorting as he tucked the envelope in the pocket of the jacket he wore. It was a breezy night. Not cold, but cooler than average.   
  
"I don't want any fuck ups on this."  
  
"You never did tolerate fuck ups very well, McGarrett," he said, chuckling. "I don't quite understand this one, though. I mean, why not just bomb the place? It's not like you're gonna take out anybody worth saving that way."  
  
"I can't target specifically the people who need to pay. I know who the ring leader was of the guards, and I know I want the warden taken down at the same time. They both either ordered or participated in Danny's torture or they stood buy and condoned it. I could raze the place and they could get out alive if I don’t hit them specifically."  
  
"We planted evidence of stolen drugs and cartel money on both of them. They'll be arrested and put in their own prison, assuming the cartel doesn't take care of business before that."  
  
"Thanks, Danvers. Sounds like a hell of an operation."  
  
"Well, thank  _you._  This is a nice chunk toward that cabin in the mountains I plan on buying when I really do retire." He shook hands with Steve again. "Your partner's okay now?"  
  
"Okay as you ever are, I guess, after something like that."  
  
"If we did this another way, I could send him a tooth to wear on a chain around his neck."  
  
"Appealing as that is, I think we'll stick with the plan."  
  
********  
  
Steve walked in the door and locked it behind him. Their guests were gone; he'd been glad Kamekona and Chin were still there when he left on his errand. Danny knew he was up to something, but at least he didn't have to stew on it alone. Grace's door was closed and the house was dim and silent except for the lamp Danny had left lit in the living room for him. He turned it off and continued on to the bedroom. He could hear the TV going on the other side of the door, which was ajar.   
  
"It's me, Danny," he said as he pushed the door open.  
  
"I know. I heard you drive up." He was lying in bed, propped up with pillows, staring at some late night talk show. He was shirtless, his lower half covered by the sheets. That was different; Danny usually wore a t-shirt or tank shirt to bed.   
  
"I'm gonna grab a shower."  
  
"You're really not gonna tell me anything, are you?" he asked, looking up at Steve. He looked hurt, disappointed...and Steve couldn't leave that look without responding to it. He sat on the bed and took Danny's hand in both of his.  
  
"I took care of something I had to do. It was something I couldn't live with any other way. I can't tell you... _won't_  tell you more than that because I love you and...just let me do this thing, and protect you from any part of it."  
  
"This isn't making me feel better."  
  
"It should. I promise you we're not in danger. My word has been good enough for a lot of people, for a lot of reasons over the years. I hope it's still worth something to you."  
  
"Don't put this on me when you go all secret-agent-Super-SEAL. You wanna get married but you don't wanna tell me anything. You still don't trust me."  
  
"Is there any way I can resolve this with you without telling you what I was doing tonight?"  
  
"No, because I'm not going to break your confidence, Steven. I won't testify against you if it's something illegal. I won't talk if it's some secret government thing and somebody tortures me for it. I'll take it to my grave if it's that important. Okay?"  
  
"A guy I served with in my SEAL days is making a pretty good living as a mercenary now. I hired him to take down the warden and the head guard at the prison in Colombia. The motherfucker whose boot print was on your back, and the warden who knew what kind of things they were doing to prisoners, what they were letting go on, and ordered more torture for you in that clinic."  
  
"You ordered hits on them?"  
  
"Not exactly." Steve sighed. "They're getting set up. The guy I hired did some digging, and they have ties to the cartel Reyes was part of."  
  
"Big surprise. Probably half the criminal element there does."  
  
"There's evidence that the guard who was demanding a payoff from you is a key part of carrying out hits on prisoners who serve as informants against the cartel. The warden is part of that. They're both in the cartel's pocket, and on their payroll. A tip is going to make its way to Interpol to that effect. When they're arrested, drugs and money that can be traced to the cartel, that's stolen - not part of what they've been paid - will be found in their homes. The long and short of it is, Danny, they'll wind up in their own jail as prisoners, until the cartel gets to them to exact revenge for what they'll see as a double-cross, not to mention that anyone tied to the cartel who ends up in custody is a liability. And that's all of it."  
  
"How did you get that all done?"  
  
"I don't even know for sure all the details of what Danvers did. That's his name, Danvers. The guy I paid to make this happen. I gave him my half of my mother's life insurance money. She had a million dollar policy. The rest goes to Mary."  
  
"You paid him half a million dollars?"  
  
"It was an expensive operation."  
  
"You paid this guy half a million dollars to bring down that guard and the warden?"  
  
"I'd have paid ten million if I had it. Danny, it's eaten away at my insides since you told me what happened. Did you really think I could just forget that? Let someone do that to you and not do anything about it? I know it doesn't change anything, make anything better. But that's what I did, and why I had to go out tonight, to deliver the payment. I went through quite a few steps to 'launder' the money. Some of it came out of the reserve I have tied in to that exit strategy we talked about. I'll replenish it as I can, but most of it came from there because it's not traceable, like the insurance money could be." Steve paused. "Now you know everything."  
  
Danny was quiet a few seconds, and then he moved forward and put his arms around Steve, who returned the embrace, glad Danny was finally feeling enough better that he could hold him close without worrying about hurting him.   
  
"I can't believe you did all that for me."  
  
"Did you think I'd just let it go?"  
  
"I didn't think there was too much you could do. I should have known better."  
  
"Yeah, you should have, because I could never let someone hurting you that way go unanswered. Your pain, what you suffered, getting some justice for that was worth everything I have."  
  
"You just about paid that for it."  
  
"It's only money, Danny," Steve said, moving back enough to look in Danny's eyes. "It's nothing compared to you. You and Grace. Our family."  
  
"Why don't you go grab that shower and then come get in bed with me?"  
  
"Best offer I've had all day. Be back in a flash," he said, kissing Danny before he hurried into the bathroom.  
  
********  
  
When Steve came out of the bathroom, he had a towel wrapped around his hips and he stopped a little hesitantly by the side of the bed. Danny was lying there on his side, watching him, waiting fro him. He held up the covers so Steve could see that he was naked, too, and wouldn't worry about troublesome details like underwear. Steve smiled at that, shedding the towel and getting into bed with Danny, moving close to kiss him, their arms wrapping around each other.   
  
Danny savored having his newly healed body actually feel good pressed against Steve, skin on skin, enjoying the friction, not having to hold back for fear of feeling that sharp pain in his side, or the soreness that had plagued him in the first few weeks after the rape. He still had to admit to himself he was afraid of that, that Steve would want to be inside him, and it would hurt. He was no coward when it came to pain; he'd endured it when he had to and was fairly proud of his ability to cope with it. But he just wasn't ready for it, and he hated that he was getting distracted from their kissing and touching by worrying about it.  
  
Then Steve was kissing a path down his chest, his hands gently skimming Danny's sides as he moved lower, lingering to tease his navel, poking it with his tongue, nipping at the sensitive skin beneath it. Danny had a feeling where he was going, and when he felt the moist heat of Steve's mouth around his growing erection, he heard a sound come out of his throat that was some cross between a gasp and a sob. Steve's hands were warm, gentle, and reassuring on his hips. There was love in that touch and the security that Steve was somehow in control of the situation, even though Danny really didn't know if he'd ever done what he was doing before. When Steve's hand went around his hip just a bit to touch his ass, it wasn't scary and there was nothing but love and tenderness in that touch.   
  
Steve's other hand was on his balls, gently rolling them in that firm warmth. He released Danny from his mouth and gently but firmly pumped him with his hand until Danny felt his orgasm coming, sweeping over him, blowing through the pain and the fear and the awfulness of what he'd been through, of having that response brutally taken from him. He gave it without reservation now, barely remembering to keep his voice down to avoid Grace hearing him. The loss of control felt good because he was being touched and loved and pleasured by someone who would kill or die for him, someone who'd never hurt him, someone whose hands were so strong and so stunningly gentle when they were on Danny's body.   
  
He lay there breathing hard, glad when Steve took him in his arms and kissed him, his hand sliding into Danny's hair, the other running up and down his back in a gentle caress. He held Steve almost desperately, reaching for him, and finding he'd already come.   
  
"I love you, Danno," he whispered in Danny's ear.   
  
"I love you, too, babe," Danny said, angling his head back to look at Steve, smiling at him, looking into those deep, beautiful eyes of his and letting the love he saw there wash over him. "I still can't believe what you did for me," Danny said softly, resting his face in the warm curve of Steve's neck.   
  
"It wasn't all for you, sweetheart," Steve said, sounding amused. "I kind of enjoyed it, too."  
  
"I didn't mean that, but that was pretty special, too. I meant...with what you did about Colombia. And...and that you told me everything."  
  
Steve caressed Danny's hair and kissed his temple. "I'd do anything for you, Danny." He was quiet a moment. "And keeping secrets like that is a crummy way to start a marriage."  
  
"That's very evolved thinking, Steven," Danny said, and Steve laughed, kissing the end of Danny's nose.  
  
"Not bad for a Neanderthal animal, huh?"  
  
"I wasn't thinking that," Danny protested.   
  
"Liar."  
  
"Okay, it crossed my mind."  
  
"My parents' whole lives, marriage, our family, everything, was all built on lies and deception and it all finally exploded and my parents are both dead and Mary and I have had years of... _shit_  to live through because of it. I'm not gonna do that to you...to us. What was it you called me? Secret Agent Super SEAL?"  
  
"Something like that," Danny admitted, kissing Steve's neck. "I was being an asshole."  
  
"I just want you to know you're not marrying that guy. I'm done with the lies and the secrets and the bullshit. Not between us."  
  
Danny couldn't suppress a yawn. Steve grinned at that and kissed him.  
  
"Glad that put your mind at ease, Danno," he said, holding Danny close. "Go to sleep."  
  
"Already halfway there. Rachel used to hate that."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't sleep all that great a lot of the time, but sex puts me out like a light."  
  
"As long as you don't fall asleep until we're done, I got no problems with that."  
  
"I've never had trouble staying awake for the action."  
  
"Then we're good. Sleep, Danno. I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"Not without me," Danny said through another massive yawn before dozing off in Steve's arms.  
  
********   
  
Steve felt something wonderful, and it was the only reason he would have opened his eyes willingly. Making love with Danny had put him out like a light, too, but even more than that, confiding in him, trusting him with everything and finding that the sky hadn't fallen because of it...that relaxed him on a level he'd never experienced with another living human. He told Danny all the details worth knowing about something shady utilizing his connections from his SEAL days, and the sun still rose, and Steve found he was incredibly comfortable placing his life and his confidences in Danny's hands.   
  
Danny's hand...and Danny's mouth...on his cock, the hot suction making him moan as he became fully aware of what was going on. Danny was giving him what felt like the blow job of a lifetime. He wanted to ask him where he learned to do that, but that would have required that he string some coherent words together, and that seemed beyond him at the moment.   
  
"Danny," he sighed, touching Danny's hair. "Morning," he added, right before groaning in pleasure while Danny did things with his tongue that were brilliantly effective and filthy enough to make Steve feel his cheeks warm with color. "God, Danny, I'm gonna come," he warned, giving Danny the chance to pull back, but he didn't. He stayed with him through every wave, drinking him down, only releasing him when it was over so he cold move up into Steve's arms.   
  
"Morning, sunshine," Danny said, smiling at him, gently turning his chin so that instead of lying dead, staring at the ceiling, Steve was looking at him. Steve rallied and shifted on his side, pulling Danny as close as he could get him, kissing him, sliding his tongue into Danny's mouth, letting himself drown in the sensations, deciding there was no better place on earth than here, now, with Danny.  
  
"Good morning yourself, Danno."  
  
"Wanna go play in the shower?" Danny suggested.  
  
"That means getting up."  
  
"I made Steve McGarrett lazy. My work is done here," Danny joked, kissing him again.  
  
"I'd call you Delilah, but she was a woman and all that had something to do with hair, not sex."  
  
"Which you need to grow out, GI Joe." Danny ran his hand through Steve's short hair. "Your hair is beautiful and I miss it."  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
"Nobody ever told you you have beautiful hair?"  
  
"Not that I remember."  
  
"You must have a knack for dating assholes."  
  
"Present company excepted."  
  
"You never dated me, exactly. You just fell hopelessly in love with me. And who could blame you?"  
  
"No one," Steve said, making the response more serious than the joke that brought it about. "Anybody would fall in love with you."  
  
"Anybody? Not quite."  
  
"Anybody with outstanding taste and superior intelligence," Steve replied, recapturing a bit of the humor.  
  
"Ah...someone like you, right?" Danny asked, laughing softly.  
  
"Just like me," Steve said, touching Danny's cheek. "Let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms, remember?"  
  
"Come let me love you, let me give my life to you."  
  
"Let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you."  
  
"I will," Danny said, smiling. "I do."  
  
"I do, too," Steve replied.  
  
"Forever."  
  
"Forever. This life and whatever comes next, because I'll follow you, Danny. Anywhere."  
  
They kissed then, a long, deep, gentle kiss that went on until they finally parted for air.   
  
"Did we just get married?" Danny asked, his hand skimming over Steve's chest, coming to rest over his heart.   
  
"Kinda sounded like it, didn't it?"  
  
"Nothing could be better than that. When we make it legal, let's just take Gracie and a couple witnesses down to the courthouse and sign some papers. Doing something else now..."  
  
"I get it. Like this didn't mean what it did." Steve covered Danny's hand with his own.   
  
"You never had a big wedding though. Are you gonna miss that?"  
  
"I can't think of any fancy event that would be better than lying here naked with you after we just made love and saying what we had to say to each other in private. I want it official so we're legally family, the three of us, but I don't need it to be married to you. It's a done deal."  
  
"Probably have to have at least a dinner out or something fancy. Gracie's not gonna be happy not being in on it."  
  
"We could take her out for breakfast," Steve suggested.  
  
"I thought you'd already discovered that breakfast in a box at Rainbow doesn't rate too high with girls," Danny teased.  
  
"Grace isn't like that. She's sensible, like her dad."  
  
"Oh, my God, wait. I need my phone. Let me start up the voice recorder. Did you just call me 'sensible'?"  
  
"I guess I really have gone nuts, haven't I?"  
  
"It was bound to happen."  
  
"It was, huh? Hey, if I give her the car keys, you think Grace could drive herself to school?" Steve nuzzled Danny's neck before sucking on it, making Danny laugh.   
  
"Sure. Have her take the Mercury, because she knows how that one handles now."  
  
"Great idea," Steve joked, leaning down for one more kiss as he started to get up.  
  
"I'm okay, Steve. I can take her. Go for your swim or whatever you wanna do this morning. I can drop Gracie off and then I'll come back and get you for work."  
  
"You sure you want to go in and do that desk duty thing? Since you're blowing the boss, you could have the extra time off if you want," he joked.  
  
"All this time, I could have had it easy, and that was all I had to do?"  
  
"That was the secret, Danno."  
  
"That's rough, but I'll handle it."  
  
"I like it when you handle it," Steve said, watching Danny get up head for the bathroom.   
  
"You have a dirty mind, Steven."  
  
"Part of my charm," Steve joked, smiling and following Danny into the bathroom, hoping the offer to play in the shower still stood.  
  
********  
  
Danny valued all the support, love, and good care he'd had while he recuperated, but even sorting through the backed up paperwork that was making up his work day for the next couple weeks made him feel useful and more normal. He still found the restrictions frustrating, but he also clearly remembered the pain he'd gone through, and the doctor was right that a traumatic injury would not be a good idea until he was fully healed.   
  
He'd driven them to work that morning, and they had plans to go out for dinner and look at wedding rings since Grace was planning a sleepover at a friend's house. Still, he couldn't help feeling just a bit left out as the rest of the team headed out in the field with the start of a new murder case and he was playing file clerk. He shrugged off what he told himself was immature pouting and went back to cleaning out an epic back log of e-mail from his account. An hour or so into the project, he found his eyes getting heavy. He and Steve definitely hadn't gotten a lot of sleep. That thought made Danny smile. Alone in the suite, he let himself relax for a moment and close his eyes, leaning back in his chair, savoring the memories of the night before and the first light of morning.   
  
********  
  
"The canvass of the neighborhood didn't turn up anything useful, huh?" Steve asked as he watched Max's staff wheel the body bag containing the remains of the murdered young woman out to the coroner's wagon. She'd lived in a modest rental house in a neighborhood that wasn't bad exactly, but not one Steve would ever allow Grace to have her first solo apartment in, either. She'd been raped and strangled and, based in the M.O. and victimology, HPD was worried they had a serial killer on their hands since she was the second victim in as many weeks to turn up dead the same way.  
  
"The elderly woman across the street said she saw a dark blue or black four-door sedan parked outside until about three a.m.," Chin said. "Max estimated the time of death around four, but his timing will be more solid once he gets her back to the lab. The neighbor did get a partial plate," he said, handing a slip of paper to Steve.  
  
"I'll call Danny and have him run this and do some checking."  
  
"He seems to be doing better. I was worried after we came there to see him when he first got home."  
  
"He's doing great. It just took some time."  
  
"You tell Lou your big news yet?"  
  
"Been kind of a busy morning. I guess he missed me kissing Danny goodbye before we left headquarters," he said, smiling, wondering if he looked like a lovesick sap or just felt like one.  
  
"I think he would have mentioned that if he'd noticed," Chin said, smiling. Then he became more serious. "You think we have a serial on our hands?"  
  
"Two cases so close together, similar victims and MO...I hope not. Could still be coincidence, but I'll also have Danny do some research to see if there are any other similar murders outside the radius HPD included, and also outside the time frame they checked."  
  
"You better give him a call and get him started on all the homework you've got lined up for him."  
  
"Danny's got great instincts and a sharp eye for finding patterns. We have the luxury of having him sitting there with nothing else worthwhile to do, so we might as well use it." Steve called Danny's cell and waited for him to pick up. It went to voicemail. "That's odd."  
  
"He could be on the phone," Chin said. "Don't become a jealous boyfriend this early on," he joked.  
  
"Husband," Steve corrected.  
  
"You two eloped or something?'  
  
"Sorry, I was thinking out loud. It's just...more than that."  
  
"My bad," Chin replied, grinning. "You've got it so bad, brah," he added, shaking his head.  
  
********  
  
The pain was horrible, and it just kept going. A boot in the middle of his back kept him pressed to the floor, his face in the filth, making it harder to breathe. No matter how many times he called Steve's name, he wasn't there. He was going mad, blending the hell he was going through with some bizarre fantasy that he would wake up in Steve's arms, loved and protected, safe, cherished.   
  
His own voice woke him and he jerked, almost falling forward out of the desk chair. He was so disoriented that, for a moment, he didn't know where he was or if what he suffered in the dream had really happened...if it was a memory or some awful nightmare. The fact he was alone in the office suite seemed bizarre by itself, but even now, awake, when he called out Steve's name, there was only silence.  
  
Then he found himself hanging out of the chair, vomiting violently into his wastebasket. He slumped back in the chair. He wasn't a hysterical puker by nature, but now he was shaking, sweating...  
  
"Steve!" he shouted, knowing he was losing it and not caring. A couple times in his life he'd been stuck in a situation that aggravated his claustrophobia beyond his control, and this is what it felt like. He forced himself to sit there and breathe, to get enough control of himself to stagger down the hall to the men's room with the liner of his wastebasket tied tightly at the top and dispose of it in the large trash can. He splashed water on his face and wiped it with paper towels, but he still looked pale and he was still shaking.  
  
********  
  
"We're on our way back to the office, what's with you?" Lou asked, frowning as Steve hit redial for the tenth time in as many minutes.  
  
"This isn't right. Where the hell is he?" Steve asked rhetorically.  
  
"You can ask him yourself in a few minutes."  
  
Steve ignored him and hit redial again. This time, Danny answered. "Where the hell have you been?" he blurted.  
  
"What? I went to the bathroom." Danny's voice was shaky and just not right.  
  
"Since when do you not take your phone with you?"  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't answer you while I was using the toilet. Settle down, Steven."  
  
"For fifteen minutes? Are you sick?"  
  
"I'm all right," he protested, but it was weak.   
  
"I'm almost there. Just sit tight."  
  
"I'm in my office. Where did you think I was gonna go?"  
  
"I'll be right there."  
  
"Okay," Danny replied, and Steve thought he detected some softening of his bluster and a note of relief in his tone.  
  
"What's going on?" Lou asked.   
  
"I'm not sure yet."  
  
"He seemed okay this morning."  
  
Steve didn't answer. He was just relieved when he pulled into a parking space and could get out of the truck and head for the building. Once he reached the office suite, he saw Danny sitting at his desk, staring at his computer. Grover had followed him in but continued on to his own office, leaving Steve to investigate whatever it was that had him so unhinged about Danny.  
  
"Hey, what's going on?" Steve asked, going into Danny's office.  
  
"Nothing," he replied sullenly. "Just you being obsessive."  
  
"Danny, it smells like vomit and tulips in here, so something's going on."  
  
"Tell Kono her plug-in air freshener sucks," he said, slumping back in his chair. "Something I ate probably just didn't agree with me."  
  
"Danny, come on. You look like death warmed over."  
  
"Thanks, babe, you look good, too." Danny seemed to stiffen as Steve sat on the edge of his desk on the same side of it with him, near him. "Don't do this here," he muttered quietly, and his voice shook.  
  
"Do what? Care about you?"  
  
"I don't want to have a big scene here."  
  
"Neither do I, sweetheart. Come on, we're going home."  
  
"What about the case?"  
  
"Chin, Kono, and Lou can get going on it. I'll give them their marching orders and then we'll head home."  
  
"I'll be okay."  
  
"Do you want to stay here?"  
  
"I don't want to be a fucking mess anymore, Steven," he said tightly, working hard to control his emotions.  
  
"We'll take a break. I'll make something up. If you're feeling better after that, we'll come back."  
  
"Okay." Danny stood and it was obvious to Steve he was forcing control and steadiness into his movements.   
  
"We'll be back," Steve said to Chin as they passed him on the way out. A few steps down the hall, and Danny actually smiled at him.   
  
"That was you making something up? Great excuse."  
  
"I'm in charge. I don't need an excuse."  
  
"That 'in command' thing is kind of hot, you know."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"I said that in a weak moment. Don't expect me to ever repeat it."  
  
Steve smiled at that and resisted the urge to pull Danny into his arms until they had some privacy. He drove the Camaro over to Danny's, since it was closer, and they went inside the house. Danny was in his arms almost before the door closed.   
  
"I dozed off in the chair and I had a nightmare," he explained. "It was a bad one."  
  
"Aw, Danno." Steve held him close, resting his cheek against Danny's hair. "Baby, I'm sorry."  
  
"I thought I was okay. They haven't been so bad lately."  
  
"I know you're still dreaming sometimes, but it seemed better," Steve agreed, holding him close.   
  
"Wow. I made it through a couple hours at work before I fell apart," he said, sounding discouraged. "Don't tell me to go to a shrink."  
  
"That was the last thing on my mind to say to you, Danny. But if you wanted to, I'd understand."  
  
"I don't want to."  
  
"Enough said, then. I don’t believe in therapy as punishment for a rough day on the job."   
  
"I don't want to keep going back there, to that place. Every time I have a nightmare, I have to go through it all again and when I wake up, it feels like it just happened. The nightmare always ends the same way. It gets unbearable and I call your name...and then you're holding me in that filthy jail, somehow, and making it stop...and then I wake up and I'm with you."  
  
"Only this time I didn't show up at all." Steve's heart broke at that thought, and he felt awful. He knew it wasn't his fault, that he couldn't be blamed because Danny nodded off in the middle of the day and had a bad dream while he was out on a case. That didn't make him feel better.  
  
"I should be over this."  
  
"People don't get over stuff like that fast, Danny. You're doing fine."  
  
"I can't stand those nightmares anymore. I just want it to stop."  
  
"It'll get better, sweetheart. I promise it will. The next time you call for me, I'll be there. I swear, Danny, I'll be there," he said, his own voice breaking. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry I wasn't there for you. That you called me and I wasn't there." He didn't mean that morning, he meant back then. When they were raping and brutalizing Danny in that hell hole and he was so terrified and in so much pain that he was saying Steve's name, Steve was on a plane back to the US. Safe, comfortable, unharmed.   
  
"You couldn't help it, babe. It wasn't your fault. None of it was your fault," Danny said, rubbing his back.   
  
"I love you and I left you alone there."  
  
"We've been through this, and you couldn't help that." Danny paused. "Steve, you've done what you could do to deal with it. Just let it go. You have to let it go, too. You didn't fail me. You never do."  
  
"I want to make the pain stop for you."  
  
"You do."  
  
"But it keeps happening to you over and over again and I can't stop it. You needed me, called to me, and I didn't come."  
  
"You do now. Just don't ever stop coming for me." Danny sniffled, was silent a moment, and then he laughed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I can't believe I just said that."  
  
"What?" Steve asked. He was sniffling himself and looking for something light to help lift his spirits a bit.  
  
"Don't ever stop coming for me, Steven. I want you to keep coming and coming and coming for me."  
  
"Shit, Danny," Steve said, laughing. "Don't you ever stop making me laugh, okay?"  
  
"It's a deal."  
  
"Let's take a break, get something you won't vomit up for lunch, and then go back to work for a while, okay? We'll stick together."  
  
"Yeah, okay, sounds good. It's kind of like  _Nightmare on Elm Street_ –just don't let me go to sleep."  
  
"I'll do my best," Steve replied, hugging Danny, laughing.  
  
********  
  
Danny’s two weeks of desk duty moved along at a much better pace than either of them expected. The murder case did turn out to be part of a serial pattern after Danny identified three more potential victims the HPD hadn’t tied into the same killer. While only one of them turned out to be connected through physical evidence, it was enough to make it a serial case.   
  
Steve made sure not to leave Danny completely alone in the suite during his “incarceration”, as Danny referred to it. Danny, for his part, avoided nodding off in his office. That wasn’t a common occurrence for him anyway, since he was no stranger to insomnia so even the occasional sleepless night didn’t mean he was tipping over at his desk. The nightmares still came sometimes, but they were fewer and farther between, and Steve made good on his word to always be there when Danny called out to him in his sleep.   
  
It was a peaceful Friday afternoon for the Five-0 team when the big news broke. Chin picked up on it first and called them all out to the command center, turning the monitor to one of the national news networks as they reported the arrests of the warden and the head guard at the prison in Colombia where Danny had been held. The footage showed the two men in handcuffs being escorted out of a courtroom.   
  
“Now that’s what I call poetic justice,” Chin said.   
  
Danny wanted to reply but it stuck in his throat. Seeing that guard’s face again chilled him and he wanted to reach out and touch Steve, but he didn’t know how Steve felt about that, there, with the team. He was surprised when he felt Steve’s hand take his, giving it a little squeeze. He didn’t say anything, didn’t make a big thing out of it, but he was  _there_ and the solid warmth of his hand made it possible for Danny to maintain his cool, to see the men who had caused him so much pain right there on the screen and know that they were on their way to their own hell, courtesy of Steve.   
  
“Danny, are you okay?” Kono asked, looking concerned.  
  
“Just kind of a shock, seeing that guy again.”  
  
“The guard? You recognize him?” she asked.  
  
“He, uh,” Danny cleared his throat and swallowed. “He put a boot print in the middle of my back. Not easy to forget somebody who does that,” he said, trying to lighten his tone. He wasn’t sure why he said that much in front of the others, but her concern felt good. She looked pained by that revelation, and rested her hand gently on his back.   
  
“Something tells me he’ll get some real payback on the inside,” she said, sounding like she was savoring that idea. “I wish we’d been able to just go in and get you,” she added, echoing Steve’s sentiments.  
  
“You guys were amazing. I can’t believe you got me out of there at all, so I’m not quibbling with the timing.”  
  
“We’re glad you’re back. This place isn’t the same without you,” she said, giving him a hug. He’d seen all of them before now, since he’d been back, but Kono had a way of picking up on his pain and, more importantly, caring about it.  
  
“Thanks, honey. I’m glad to be here.” Danny extended an arm toward Steve, who chuckled as he joined them. “Come on, team hug,” he said to Chin and Lou, who joined the outside of the cluster.   
  
“If Denning walks in now, I’ve got a lot of explaining to do,” Steve joked.  
  
“Tell him it was the therapist’s idea,” Danny joked, and they all laughed. “Should get all of us off the hook for next year’s psych evals.”   
  
********  
  
“That’s a nice one,” Steve said, pointing at a plain, solid gold band.   
  
“Lovely choice,” the middle aged man behind the jewelry store counter said, taking it out of the case and handing it to Steve. They’d gone to a nice jeweler with a good selection. Danny found the prices a bit steep, but he appreciated Steve’s decision that they weren’t going to get their rings at the jewelry counter at Walmart on grocery day before their ice cream melted. “It’s 18-carat gold.”  
  
“No, no, no,” Danny said, shaking his head. “It’ll never survive what he’ll do to it.”  
  
“Excuse me?” Steve said, looking at him with a flare of irritation in his eyes. Which distracted Danny because they were picking up the blue in Steve’s polo shirt. He looked away, looking at the jeweler.   
  
“Eighteen carat is softer because it has more gold in it, right?”  
  
“Well, yes, but it’s still durable, and this is a nice, thick piece of gold,” he said.   
  
“See,” Steve said, gesturing at the jeweler. “I know what I’m doing.”  
  
“You don’t understand,” Danny said to the baffled jeweler. Danny wondered if the man would survive navigating the ring shopping process with them. “He’s an animal. He blows things up, throws people off buildings. That ring will be scrap metal in a week.”  
  
“I have  _never_  thrown  _anyone_  off a building, though you’re making that idea really attractive about now,” Steve shot back. “We’re in law enforcement,” Steve clarified to the jeweler.  
  
“I gathered,” the man said, nodding toward them. They had their badges on their belts and were wearing their guns. “I saw the badges so I didn’t trip the silent alarm when I saw the guns,” he added.  _Maybe this guy could hold his own after all._  
  
“I could tell it was a nice one, Danny. I was trying to pick something above average to put on your hand for the rest of our lives, but I’ll just back off since you’re the expert.” He set the ring on the counter.  
  
“So now you’re gonna pout?” Danny challenged.  
  
“No, I like being called an animal in front of a perfect stranger.” Steve crossed his arms and gave Danny the patented McGarrett icy stare of death. Danny stared back at him, but not at his face.  _God, his biceps had gotten huge..._  
  
“I meant it in the best possible way,” Danny said, grinning at him in a way he hoped was endearing. If he could give Steve the right look, it would totally disarm him. Apparently, Danny had that mastered, because the death-ray stare faltered a bit around the eyes and Steve’s mouth quirked up fleetingly on one corner in a prelude to a smile he wasn’t quite ready to grant yet.  
  
“May I make a suggestion?” the jeweler asked.  
  
“Please,” Danny said.   
  
“Platinum.”  
  
“We’re willing to pay for a good ring, but I wasn’t planning to part with a kidney,” Steve said.  
  
“Platinum is the strongest of the metals, and it’s also the most scratch resistant. You’ll get good strength from a titanium band, but scratching can be an issue, and if it’s likely to get heavy or rough use on a daily basis, your ring may not retain the appearance you want for the long term.”  
  
“It’s not like we’re gonna buy a bunch of these,” Danny said. “These should last us for the duration,” he added.  
  
“We can look at them, I guess," Steve conceded, reluctant.   
  
"Right this way," the jeweler said, leading them to another section of the display case. "As you can see, we have a large selection of styles at a number of price points - "  
  
"I want to see that one," Steve said, pointing at a ring that would have been the last one Danny would have pictured him looking at. Hell, it was the last one Danny would have picked out. It was yellow gold and platinum, and it sort of looked like it had a blobby crown pattern on it. Then he realized it was supposed to represent the interlocking of puzzle pieces, one half gold, the other platinum. God, it was ugly. Expensive and just plain fucking ugly. Fugly. Steve was giving it to him good for making them look at the platinum rings.  
  
"Okay, you made your point. Show us the titanium ones," Danny said.  
  
"What? You don't want to even look at this one?" Steve asked.  
  
"It's a very interesting design. It's a designer style we just got in - "  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure it's great, but he's yanking my chain. We're looking at wedding rings, Steven. Don't make a joke out of it. If you don't want to come off the money for an expensive ring, just say so."  
  
Steve looked stricken, hurt. "Here." He took out his credit card and tossed it on the counter. "Buy two of whatever you want." With that, he turned on his heel and strode out of the store. Danny swallowed and stared after him, stunned. He looked back at the jeweler.   
  
"Sorry about that." He picked up Steve's credit card and tucked it in his pocket. "Looks like we're not ready to do this just yet."  
  
"A lot of couples have disagreements over rings. Can I offer a piece of advice?"  
  
"Might as well because I've managed to screw this up more than I thought was possible."  
  
"Most people have reasons for the rings they pick out, and it can be very personal, and very sensitive when their choices are rejected. Go talk to your fiancé, but this time,  _listen_ to him."  
  
"You do couples therapy along with the whole jewelry thing, huh?"  
  
"My grandfather started this business, and I've been helping couples choose wedding rings since I was too young to wear one myself. Trust me on this one."  
  
"Well, it can't get much worse, so thanks for the tip. If he hasn't broken up with me by then, we'll be back to pick out rings eventually."  
  
Danny walked out into the mild night air and found Steve sitting on a bench a few storefronts down. He'd expected him to have gone back to the car, but instead, he was just sitting there. He sat on the bench next to Steve.  
  
"You just surprised me, Steven. I never would have expected you to like something... nontraditional like that."  
  
"You hated it."  
  
"No, I didn't hate it. I just didn't get it. Tell me why you picked it out."  
  
"Look, I have lousy taste with stuff like that. I'm sorry about the credit card thing. Tossing it on the counter. You picked it up, didn't you?" he asked, looking at Danny.   
  
"Yes, I picked it up," Danny said, smiling. He dug it out of his pocket and handed it to Steve, who busied himself with putting it away in his wallet, then tucking the wallet back in his pocket. Danny reached over and took Steve's hand. "I know you're mad, but just talk to me."  
  
"I'm not mad. Just pick out something you like and whatever it is, I'll wear it." He laced his fingers with Danny's. "Anything'll look good on that hand," he said, smiling a little sadly.  
  
"Come on, babe. Tell me. It's not like we have many secrets anymore."   
  
"I told you when you got home that...that without you, I'm alone. You're the other piece of me, Danny, and when I looked at that ring, I thought about how we fit. We shouldn't fit together like we do. We shouldn't even like each other, but I can't live without you...completing me. The way the two parts fit together on that ring...it's us." He sighed, looking at their joined hands. "Corny, huh?"  
  
Danny couldn't get words out past the lump in his throat. His eyes filled, and he just hoped that he hadn't completely destroyed a feeling that was so beautiful it left him speechless.  
  
"Can we go back in and take another look?"  
  
"I mean it, Danny. We can go in but just pick something you like."  
  
"I already did." He hooked his hand around the back of Steve's neck and pulled him close for a kiss. "But for our rings? I can't think of another one I'd rather have than the one you picked out for us. I love you, Steven, and I love the way you love me. I'm the luckiest man in the world, and whenever I look at that kind of weird, funky ring on my finger, I'll remember that, and remember how much you love me. Now can we go get our rings?"  
  
"You really want that one? You're not just trying to make me feel better?"  
  
"I want you, and I want that ring because it means to me what it means to you now."  
  
"Okay, then," Steve said, smiling. "Let's go buy our rings."  
  
********  
  
"Gentlemen, nice to see you back. What can I show you?" the jeweler asked.   
  
"The puzzle design," Danny said, smiling at Steve, taking his hand.   
  
"It's really a stunning design. Very unique," he said, taking it out and handing it to Danny.  
  
"You still like it?" he asked Steve.  
  
"Yeah, but Danny, you really didn't like this one."  
  
"I didn't like you at first, either, but you can see how that turned out.” He smiled at the jeweler and held up the display ring. “We need two of these."   
  
********


End file.
